PROGRAM NOTE

You are my softest pillow sets an adapted text from The Flowing Light of the Godhead by Mechthild of Magdeburg, a 13th-century Beguine mystic. In Magdeburg’s Book IV, Lady Pain approaches the door to heaven and pleads with God, the Beloved, for entry. Though she delivers souls to him, she is turned away, consigned to return to earth.

I was drawn to Lady Pain’s position: rejected between two lovers, the Soul and the Beloved. This image of persistent desire met with refusal, of feeling too broken to be received, felt deeply human to me, not only in the context of romantic love, but also in familial, social, cultural, and spiritual longing.

In this work, I imagine Lady Pain singing to the Beloved at heaven’s door, hovering between pitch, breath, and noise.